A candid look at mothers!
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She's the only one who knows where everything is. |
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Mostly to clean the house. |
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To help us out of there when we were getting born. |
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He used dirt, just like for the rest of us. |
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Magic, plus super powers, and a lot of stirring. |
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God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts. |
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God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean. |
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They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string. I think. |
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We're related. |
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God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me. |
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My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff. |
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I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy. |
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They say she used to be nice. |
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His last name. |
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She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at a lot of money? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores? |
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My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot. |
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She got too old to do anything else with him. |
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My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on. |
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Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot. |
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Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed. |
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I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad. |
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Mums work at work and work at home, and dads just work at work. |
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Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them. |
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Dads are taller and stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you've got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. |
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Mothers don't do spare time. |
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To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long. |
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On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery. |
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Diet. You know. And her hair. I'd dye it, maybe blue. |
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She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that. |
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I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me. |
